We’ve all probably gone through this feeling at one time or another – amidst all the hustle and bustle of a seemingly great life, you still feel like something is missing. There’s that little part of you that feels restless, even while everything else seems to be in place. Your mate and the kids “seem happy” with the job you are doing, home affairs appear to be running smoothly, and your career may even be at its peak. Yet something still just doesn’t feel right, and you can’t quite figure out what that is.
You may be feeling this way because you have given blood, sweat and rivers of tears for the people you love but not for the person you should be loving the most – yourself! This does not mean that you should only be thinking about yourself from now on. However, you, as the beautiful soul that you are, personally need undivided attention – you need to feed your body, soul and spirit because together they comprise the only YOU there is!
Most women find it difficult to focus on themselves and their needs due to societal conditioning. They constantly worry too much about things falling apart if they let go of feeling responsible for everyone else. But think of how things will go completely haywire if you run your energy into the ground by attending to the needs of others and not your own. Pretty soon your body and spirit will have to step in and create “me time” for you. This could mean that you will fall ill, begin to forget the important things or just feel plain’ole worn out.
When deciding to make the most important decision and the extremely valuable move to commit to your own personal needs and wants; you must be ready to release the “small ideas” you have had about your life. This is not about measuring up with some parameters for comparison – your happiness is not about keeping up with the Jones’; it’s about attaining daily habits and routines that allow your spirit to sing…everyday. Life is not an uncharted race of trying to beat out somebody else; it’s about being happy with where you are in your life at any given moment.
You are a unique individual with needs that are different from everyone else. When you begin to focus on these, you will be amazed at how much better you will feel and how all of your relationships will improve. Attending to our own personal needs and wants helps us identify where we have been standing in our own way and allows us to grow into the spirits that we have always wanted to be. Once you set out on the course to “radical transformation,” you may not like what you find immediately, but the journey of identifying your truth then living your life from it will be the greatest reward.
Be aware that you will definitely feel “uncomfortable” in the beginning. Beginning to take time out for you when you are used to doing things for everyone else can make you feel so guilty. And if you grew up in the church…you will struggle with the fallacy of “by doing things for yourself, you are not being a good Christian”…NONSENSE!!!
Once I started to peel back the layers of my personality, removing the shackles of society, and discovered that I was not perfect…it was damn near devastating. I had such a hard time shifting my focus to me when all my life I had seemed to focus on everything and everyone else. But it has to be done; the choices and decisions you will begin to make will determine the roadmap ahead. Like me, I feel that once you really begin to think about it, you will want to take on a path that will lead you to a greater sense of self-awareness, connection/reconnection you’re your truth and the courage to live your life according to what “feels good” to you. Take a look below at these radical transformation tips that will help you focus on yourself so you can begin to enjoy your life:
- Devote exclusive time for yourself each day. Set a definite hour for yourself alone and bask in an activity that you absolutely love. It can be time in the tub, a walk in the park, a manicure at the salon, sitting on your patio sipping coffee and doing nothing else – whatever it is that pleases you. Do something strictly for pleasure and not to move you further along in your career or in your relationships. This time is strictly for you. Learn to play…hell, by a set of jacks or a Tonka truck and get busy. You could also use this time to reflect in your journal, dream the biggest dream you can imagine, and write down all of the things you will do and have once your dream is realized.
- Give value to your overall needs, and be in-charge of them – the physical, spiritual, mental and emotional. Don’t make the mistake of thinking these needs are dependent on someone else or that you can only have satisfaction and happiness when somebody else does something to you or for you. You have the power within yourself to attain these needs and that is the only way you will become a whole person. Want to strengthen your relationship with self and show up to a dating situation whole…then (excuse my slang) but…get-chu some bidnez! Making the other person 100% responsible for your happiness is not attractive nor is it healthy.
- Feed your mind, body and spirit with good and healthy things. Find positive energy to stimulate you, positive thoughts to motivate you and positive people to be around. Feed your body well – eat healthy, taking in lots of fruits and vegetables and get plenty of water. Do like I do, since I don’t like to eat them, I blend them and drink them all together. Feed your mind with informative material. Read lots of motivational books, listen to audiobooks and attend pleasurable events. I’m not one to read the newspaper or watch the news. How do I stay up on current events you ask? Trust me, there are tons of others who enjoy feeding their mind and spirit with the negativity of the world…if I want to know, I’m sure they will be willing to share. If you can’t detach from the news completely, at least limit the amount of time spent watching, listening or reading the news.
- Limit your time on the TV – if you need to, watch the “feel good” programs that let you laugh about life and stimulate your spirit. Listen to soothing music. Music has that magical ability to relax or stimulate your mind, depending on what you need at that particular moment.
- Spend time doing something you love. If you are able to do it daily, do so. It can be a hobby like people watching (oh wait…that’s one of mine…giggle) gardening or a creative pastime like painting, pottery or craftworks. Whenever your creative outbursts are at their peak, translate that into action; whatever that means to you. It’s always nice to be doing something beautiful.
- Create your own gratitude journal. Did you know that a lot of bestselling motivational books started from the authors’ personal gratitude journal? You can begin to write down even just five things you’re grateful for each day. Pretty soon, you’ll see your list growing and you’ll begin to notice how good it is to focus on the positive things in this world. I bet you’ll be writing longer reflections and short stories in no time because you’ll be writing about the good things rather than dwelling on the occasional obstacles of life.
There really is no better way to take good care of yourself than focusing on your needs and wants. Feeding yourself constantly allows you meet the challenge of each new day with a positive attitude and a happy heart – fully content with where you are at each present moment. And when you are ready to kick it up a notch and “Radically Transform” your life…you know where to find me. You can reach out to me directly or radically transform in the comforts of your own home. The choice of HOW you do it is yours…all I ask it that you step up to the plate and “MAKE IT HAPPEN!”