I recently participated on a panel of experts to discuss a topic that hits home for all LGBT parents…How and When to Come Out to Your Children. There were many different views of course…ranging from a religious point of view, to a parent terrified of losing the love of their child, to a loving and neutral opinion based in experience. No matter where the points of view originated, it was clear that this was a topic that I needed to explore more in a blog.
Coming out to YOURSELF is no easy task, but to consider coming out to your children is a “whole-nutha” thing all together. If you are already struggling with your sexuality and living a double life at work or with your family…coming out to your child/children can be a very terrifying thing to do, especially if you have no idea of how to do it. I know who you are…I see you and I have felt your pain.
The advice that I gave as a panelist on my wonderful colleague-Coach Kerri’s Blog Talk Radio Show was along these lines…
If you are considering coming out to you children…consider the following:
- Their current age and maturity level
- Whether they even know about the difference in LGBT lifestyles yet
- If they are being influenced by others, i.e. family members, society, your religious institution
- And too many other individual factor to mention here in this blog
Without knowing each and every one of your personal stories, I can only give general thoughts and ideas on how to go about coming out to your children based on my own thoughts and personal experience…so here goes:
- You should not make a big deal out of being who you are
- You should make sure that the interactions that your children have with others in the LGBT lifestyle are positive ones – meaning..NO DRAMA!
- You should remember that the energy that you give towards your own sexuality will set the tone for how your children view you … if they have not already been influenced by others
- Children are naturally perceptive. If you continue to have them in healthy LGBT environments where they see loving interactions between partners and their children; are able to have them interact with children of same-sex households…the conversation will come up naturally.
Usually people fear and condemn that in which they don’t understand. Just because I may not live the same lifestyle that you do, doesn’t mean that I cannot allow you to live yours. Having your children witness positive relationships and interactions with families that are “different” allows them to see a different side. As they continue to interact, they will come to you and ask you questions naturally. And when they do…will you be ready?
For all of the readers that are struggling with coming out to themselves and the rest of the world, please feel free to send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and I will provide you more information on the products and services that I have available for your particular needs.
Let’s set up some talk time to discuss how to get you to be at peace with yourself first…then how to help you communicate with others from your authentic self. Don’t you think it’s time you learned to love all of you by climbing your way out of your pain into true self-acceptance and understanding of your truth? If so, I’m right here.
To Your Radical Transformation…Anita
P.S. Since there will be both “straight” and LGBT individuals reading this blog as I have friends from all walks of life, I will ask that you be respectful of any replies to this blog post. If you are not in agreement with same-sex relationships, I ask that you simply refrain from leaving a comment or response. If you do however, and it is disrespectful…it will be removed.