I couldn’t sleep. I had been waiting up for him to answer his phone at his apartment, and he never did. I dozed off on occasion, waking up to try the phone again…nothing.
By this time, my mind was racing. What’s he doing? Where is he? Is he with her…again? What should I do? I have to be at work at 7am in the morning – or is it 7am at school? Wait, what day is it? I couldn’t remember a thing. By this time, I wasn’t thinking clearly. All I could think about was…this HAS to stop!
So what does any other college student do that doesn’t have a car and wants to know if the girl he left for you, has convinced him to come back to her? She jumps on her bike at 4am, recalling the ex’s address from that quick glance at his mother’s house, and she heads that way.
Well, that’s exactly what I did. I jumped on my bike. Rode about 2.5 miles, in the dark, to his ex’s house to confirm my suspicions. By the time I reached her place, the sun was beginning to show up. I proceeded to peddle to the back of the apartment building to make sure that his car was in fact there…and it was.
So I turned my bike slowly, carefully as this was the moment of truth. YES, I had confirmed my suspicion. YES, I had done a very stupid thing by riding my bike, in the dark, THAT far in a small town with very few street lights to play “I SPY” with my boyfriend and his ex. THIS was the moment of decision…what was I going to do now? I had not thought that far ahead.
I decided that since I rode my black ass all the way over there, what would be the point if I didn’t let him know that I had caught him over there. So, to make my point, I boldly parked – my bike – in front of her steps, put down the kick stand, walked up to the porch and rang the doorbell. She came to the door in her pink hair rollers and her pink puffy robe and had that look of “this witch has a lot of nerve.”
She opened the door and said “Yes?” I stood 5’1″ tall and said “Is my man here?” She opened the door wider and there he stood in the hallway. If you could have seen the look on his face. He immediately comes to the door, steps out to the porch, pulls the door up behind him and proceeds to tell me that he is a grown man and that I had no right going over there. By this time, after all of the anguish that I had gone through on so many occasions, whether I had a right to be there or not, I came, I saw…and now I was leaving. Both her porch AND him.
What may have seemed like a great idea then, I’m not so sure about it now. But what I can tell you is this, in my personal experience as well as the lives of countless clients, if he or she has a history of cheating on you once, they will most likely do it again. If you are unable to trust your mate, then what is the point of being together. For me, the 4am bike ride was my last straw, others have a different threshold of tolerance.
What’s yours? What would be YOUR deal breaker in your dating situation or your relationship?