These days, cheating is becoming a highly popularized hobby for people, especially younger folks who like to “play the field.” However, those who have been cheated on know that affairs are nothing to be taken lightly. They are extremely damaging blows to most all relationships. When an affair occurs, that’s usually it.
Some people wonder, though, young or old, if it’s possible to forgive your other half for infidelities. The fact of the matter is that whether you’ve been dating for almost a year, or have been married for a decade or two, the answer remains the same. The truth is that it’s complicated.
If you can forgive your lover for cheating on you, there are some complex feelings that still remain, and some problems that can still arise as a result of it all. For instance, you may be able to say you forgive them and stay in the relationship, but the doubt will stay in your mind. The only comfort you’ll ever feel in the relationship again is with complete disclosure of all meetings, plans, conversations, and whatever else applies. No privacy can exist between the two of you. This wouldn’t be as much of a feat to accomplish if you’re already married, but if you’re not, the clinginess and watchfulness would be enough to scare off nearly anyone.
Now it’s not to say it’s impossible, but it’s unlikely that real forgiveness would be possible without the help of a coach, therapist or spiritual leader. There’s no harm in wanting to try to save your relationship/marriage, but you must know that you cannot do this alone. A few couples may even grow closer together as a result, but the chances of this sort of thing improving a relationship are extremely slim with outside assistance.
If you need some help figuring everything out, remember that there’s nothing wrong with turning to a close and wise friend for some insight into your dilemma. However, keep in mind that anyone that is closely related to you by blood or friendship, may not be the best choice. They will have a hard time being objective unless this is their profession. It’s best to work with someone that can be objective. Even people who have gone through this before may still harbor residual feelings that could “taint” their advice to you. Be mindful of this.
As a relationship is a personal matter between you and your significant other, no one else has the authority to tell you what is right or wrong. So, whatever you decide, just be sure it makes you happy. Should you decide to stay together…know that there is a long road ahead of you that both of you will need to prepare yourself to travel. Find someone that can lead you both down the path that is right for the both of you. Know that it may be a road that leads you back together OR apart.
The Unhappy Wife by Dr. Kathy Garland is a wonderful book that shares the stories of women that experienced infidelity as well as other heartbreaks in their relationships and shares their journey whether they chose to stay together or to walk away. A must read!!! In the afterword, I even share my own story with you. So if you want to get “all up in my business”, pick up your copy today!
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With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.
Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.