The Trouble With Being Beautiful

 

There are many beautiful women in the world that are stuck home and alone on the weekends simply because of their beauty. This may not make ANY sense to some of you whatsoever; especially the women that see themselves as ordinary and even physically unattractive. However, women these same women are more likely to have a date when they need and want it, or they’re in a relationship with the guy of their dreams. How is something like that even possible?

Believe it or not, it’s very possible. The age old problem of men that fear beauty in a woman never goes away. Even great looking guys can look at a stunning woman and figure that she’s just too gorgeous for him and would never agree to go out with him. So you can imagine how ordinary men feel about risking an approach to a beautiful woman. Therefore, it’s not unusual at all for a great looking woman to be sitting all alone in a bar. The men are too afraid of rejection to approach her. She, on the other hand, may be dying for one of them to just come over and talk to her. The lesson here is that beautiful women may also be looking for love and wanting to be approached on the inside, too.

Then, of course, there are the divas. These are gorgeous women that know how hot they are and they really haven’t found anyone that they deem worthy of dating. They know that they can call any guy they want or walk up to any guy in any location and be able to reel them in. Heck, they may even have “P” on speed dial. This is a problem of a different sort. These women may be lonely due to their incredible beauty, but it’s their own fault. They choose to be high and mighty – nose in the air type women and because of this, we find it hard to feel sorry for them.

Beauty on the outside does not always guarantee beauty on the inside, no matter how good looking she is. These women are a bit different than the divas. The divas are aware of what they’re doing and they’re not always horrible. They just feel a bit entitled because of their beauty. On the other hand, there are women that are beautiful on the outside that at many times harbor a soul that’s black as night. These women are alone because of one of many reasons:

• They simply have no clue how to treat another human being.
• They’re manipulative and only pretend to be nice when they want something.
• They have been so hurt in the past that they put up this HUGE wall of being overly-confident and entitled when really they are crying/acting out just to be loved.
• They don’t want to be hurt again and therefore put up a “strong woman” persona in an effort to protect themselves.

So how does the beautiful woman that is broken on the inside find a way to attract and maintain and authentic relationship? By working with a coach to identify her blocks, her pain, her internal demons and growing through them so that she can make room in her life and in her heart to attract someone that is perfectly imperfect for her.

Now, for guys that are on the lookout for a woman to get to know a little better, don’t immediately discount beautiful women. If that gorgeous woman sitting at the bar is giving you some encouraging glances and smiles, then you need to go for it! Lock away those nerves and on over there. You’ll know within a matter of minutes whether or not she’s interested, and you don’t have to be humiliated in order to find out. Chances are good that she’ll be very receptive, especially if she was checking you out first. Give it a shot you never know.

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Want a FREE YEAR of dating and relationship coaching right to your mailbox? Of course you do! Who wouldn’t want to receive 52 weeks of dating and relationship coaching FOR FREE!!! Click Here NOW!!!

Want to work directly with Anita? Go to bit.ly/workdirectlywithanita to learn more.

With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking, and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

Weddings On A Shoe String Budget

Weddings are a huge money making business these days. It’s become almost impossible to have the wedding of your dreams unless you’re from one of the wealthiest families in the world, a celebrity or royalty. Most ordinary people either have to save for a very long time, finance it through credit cards or they have to take out a loan. However, even if you prefer to spend your money in other ways, there are ways to have a very nice wedding in an affordable fashion.

These could actually be called DIY weddings because you’ll be doing most of the work yourself.  Start with the size of the wedding. You may want to limit the number of guests that you invite due to various other aspects of the wedding. Once you and your fiance agree on a number, stick to it. Too many people get caught up in the moment and spontaneously invite people. Just remember that this is a special day you’ll want to spend with those people that you feel closest to. It’s not a time to repay social obligations OR fund the meals of the people who are only going to judge you for every little detail about your wedding anyway.

Decide on your location. This can be totally free if you happen to have a nice back yard or a home with enough space to hold the wedding.  If you don’t have either of these things, personally, a relative or good friend may allow you to hold your wedding at their home. There are many community parks where you can gather to have the wedding itself and go to another location for the reception. Just look around to see what’s available. I’ve even heard of people hosting weddings in barns, zoos, train stations, etc. It’s your wedding…do it your way.

Invitations can be made on your computer and printed out. You can have a wedding website – a one stop shop for all things wedding related. You can even go to Etsy or Fiverr to have someone design a “one of a kind invitation” specifically geared towards your taste. The only thing you’ll need to pay for is paper, envelopes, printer ink, and postage. This is a lot simpler than it may seem, especially with the numerous choices in colored and textured paper that you can buy. You get to use your imagination and design your own invitations.

What about the reception? It can be as inexpensive as you need it to be. Hazel Moore of A Moore Intimate Connection of Decatur, GA, creates beautiful settings for occasions of all sizes and she is a personal friend of mine. And the cake? Many couples are now going the route of wedding cupcakes rather than an elaborate several-tiered cake. In fact, you and friends can make these cupcakes yourself. There will be only a one layer cake needed as the topper and you can freeze this one to have on your first wedding anniversary. The cupcakes will be for everyone to eat and enjoy. If you want to have other things to eat, this is also something you and your friends can put together. Keep it simple with such things as finger sandwiches, salad, and anything that’s inexpensive, tasty and easy to put together.

For example, to the left is a picture of the individual Tiffany box style cupcakes that I had created for my 50th birthday. There was one big Tiffany box in the middle with a handmade black stiletto with a red bottom, and then 50 individual boxes. Saved me the trouble of having the cake cut. My guests just grabbed their “own little gift.”

 

Your dress may be one of your biggest expenses but it doesn’t have to break the bank. Look around in high-end thrift stores and discount stores. You can always check on a website like Rent the Runway, where you can rent the dress of your dreams for a fraction of the cost. I mean seriously, are you really going to make your daughter/daughter in law wear a dress that is over 20-30 years old?

Many times you can find an appropriate dress that you’ll love for just a fraction of the price of a brand new gown. Another option is to make your dress or have a talented friend make it. This is a cost saving but beautiful solution.

Flowers can be as simple as freshly cut ones from a garden. You can also buy pretty bouquets in grocery stores on the day of the wedding or silk flowers at Michaels and make your own arrangements from places like Afloral they’ll look fresh, lovely and you can keep them forever!

As you can see, there are many ways to cut the costs of a lovely wedding. Once you get started, you’ll probably find more on your own and if you have a few tips to share…mention them in the comments.

Most importantly, do your best to select the right person to marry. Need help with identifying what type of person is right for you…I can help with that. Reach out when you’re ready www.anitacharlot.com.

To Your Dating and Relationship Success!

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Want a FREE YEAR of dating and relationship coaching right to your mailbox? Of course you do! Who wouldn’t want to receive 52 weeks of dating and relationship coaching FOR FREE!!! Click Here NOW!!!

With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

Ways Women Destroy Their Relationships

Women seem to be more invested in keeping their relationships together than men do, for the most part. However, on the other hand, they also tend to unknowingly destroy their relationships in some very simple and unknowing ways. Once they start, it’s usually very hard to fix things.

For one thing, women can tolerate too many things they should not have. You don’t want to tell a guy that he’s rude and that he’s being disrespectful to you. Worse yet, you don’t like to even admit there’s anything wrong, so you stay quiet for fear of rocking the boat or sounding like his ex. There are ways to share this information with your man without making him feel attacked. It’s so much better to tell him what an ass he’s being in real time rather than let it fester.

In the beginning, couples tend to go out all the time. Eventually, things move into the “Netflix and Chill” stage, staying in more and more and spending quiet evenings at home having dinner and watching a movie. Don’t panic as this is normal. Relax and don’t force him into going out all the time when he doesn’t want to. There will be times when one or the other doesn’t want to go out. As couples, compromise is key.

I tell my clients all the time that are constantly complaining that “he never wants to do anything.” The exact words I use are “You need to get you some business of your own!” Meaning, you can not expect your man to be your only source of entertainment. Nor can you expect him to only want to go out with YOU and not with his friend. If you continue to habit of maintaining your separate interests in the beginning then you are more than likely to enjoy the time that you two spend together. You actually have time to miss each other…and that can lead to a “happy ending” when you do connect again.

Don’t get me wrong, when the relationship is new, you want to be together constantly. However, don’t let that keep you from spending time with your friends and family, too. He also needs to do that. It keeps your relationship from becoming suffocating on both sides.

What about the lack of sex? I’m glad you asked. It is possible that in the beginning, you and your boyfriend used to have sex 3 or 4 times weekly/daily if you have a high sex drive, but that can’t last and it shouldn’t. That doesn’t mean that you should just sit back and be ok with sex totally dwindling out of your relationship. But complaining about it and throwing a fit isn’t good way to handle it either. Think that’s going to make him want to jump in the bed with you any faster? Um, no! If it gets serious enough and you notice that maybe there is a big disparity between your sex drive and his, find time to talk about it calmly.

Also, don’t govern your relationship by what you THINK your friends and families relationships are like either. Just because other couples you know are constantly going out and doing exciting things and having adventures doesn’t mean that it’s really happening or that patterning your relationship after that of another to the most minute detail will be right for you and your boyfriend. When you start comparing your relationship with others, it only puts a damper on yours.  The grass is not always greener on the other side and trust me…everything that looks shiny and interesting on the surface may have a ton of shit happening underneath the hood.

Some women just try way too hard. If the lack of sex has been an issue, it’s not helpful if you suddenly start greeting him in sexy lingerie and candlelit dinners … every night he comes home. He’s going to feel the pressure of having to match your efforts.  That’s not to say that you shouldn’t do something nice sometimes, but you can’t expect him to perform on demand. And would you really want it anyway if you had to go through theatrics to get it? I know I wouldn’t.

Let’s move on to insecurity. Insecurity is one of the most unattractive features that a woman can have. The need for constant reassurance can wear thin on the nerves of anyone, especially your man. He wants to know that he has made the right choice. YOU should want to know that when he says he loves you, misses you, needs you, etc. that he really means it and that he is not saying it out of obligation or to reassure you, yet again for the thousandth time…that he does. Honestly, I love to hear the words I love you but I would rather be shown to me versus spoken.

Constantly needing this type of reassurance says more about your relationship with yourself than it does your relationship with the man in your life. Work on fixing that first. No matter how many relationships you enter in and out of, if you do not get right within, each one is going to bring up the insecurities that you held in the last one.

Don’t lean on your man for your happiness. You and ONLY YOU can source your happiness. Sure, he can play a part in that, but he can not be responsible for it. That’s your job. Get back to doing the things that brought you joy, they may or may not include him directly…and that’s ok. If you begin to source your own happiness, you will stop being so miserable when he decides to source his.

Avoiding these self-sabotaging behaviors or finding someone that you can work through them with, will lead to you actually feeling that he loves you without being forced to do so. On the other hand, it can show you that you were with him for all of the wrong reasons and lead to you letting him go.

Either way…learn how to transform the self-sabotaging behavior and enjoy a true connection with the man that you love.

 

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Want a FREE YEAR of dating and relationship coaching right to your mailbox? Of course you do! Who wouldn’t want to receive 52 weeks of dating and relationship coaching FOR FREE!!! Click Here NOW!!!

With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

Be Careful What You Send Via Text…Word AND Emoticons

I thought you might get a kick out of this. Sometimes, in my Relationship Advice w/Anita Charlot  group, people will inbox me and ask me to post a question (then answer it) in the group anonymously. I like to be mindful of people’s request, and so I did so on yesterday. I got so tickled by it…I just had to come here and share with you. Here is what I posted on Facebook yesterday…verbatim.

“Just received a question anonymously regarding a text interchange between two people in a relationship. Something that was said out of concern was received by the person on the other end totally out of context and I was asked “what did I do wrong?”

Here is the deal…

You must remember that text messages, just like emails in the work place are without emotion, voice inflection, the tone of concern, etc. What she sent via text – was sent in the right spirit but was taken out of context. The person on the other end took it as though they were telling them what to do and quickly got defensive. Easy mistake and sometimes one that can lead to the demise of relationships…I’ve seen it happen.

You want to be careful what you say via text. Why do you think emoticons are so popular, they were created to attempt to convey the emotion that is missing from the words. However, you have to be careful with those too…you never know how it will come across to the other person.

True story…

I was sending what was a smiley with the tongue hanging out on my phone,however, it showed up on the other end looking like a vagina. Thank goodness it was to my bestie in Atlanta (Krys Lassiter), but still…it was hilarious once she asked me “Ummm, why do you keep sending me vagina symbols?” After I stopped snorting while laughing I apologized profusely. We are besties but dang…that made her feel really awkward…and was totally not my intent.

Moral of the story…don’t send vag-looking emoji’s…jkbvs…ha!

No really, stay away from abbreviated words, emoticons as much as possible, etc. If you know you and your mate have communication issues…stick to trying to increase your “live conversations” to keep the possibility of something being taken out of context to a minimum.

Heck…learn from my mistake! 🙂 (that’s a regular smiley face) lol”

Do you think my group member got the message…umm, of course she did!!! Another satisfied client!!!!

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Since I stopped in tonight, I thought I might share with you the Cyber Extension that is currently going on during the first week of launching the new online relationship school portal for my company Relationship Architect Academy. Monthly memberships at 3 different levels to gain access to all types of courses, ebooks, FB Live Classes, private FB group, etc. on all types of dating and relationship topics. Between today and December 16, 2016, you can enroll at “The Academy” for 50% OFF ALL membership levels (coupon code available on the site.) Click here to learn more!!! Oh, feel free to share, repost, reblog, forward, train a carrier pigeon or whatever you need to do to spread the news.

I’m so excited about what is in store for ALL of us. Learning a new platform and creating relationship transformative courses based on the experience I’ve collected over the past 16+ years is so excited. Trust me when I tell you…it’s time!

Looking forward to having you as one of the monthly members! Even if you decide that now is not the time for you (remember that procrastination can get expensive) please feel free to join me on Facebook, Instagram, sign up for my mailing list, etc. If you do decide to become a member, please come back and let me know that you have enrolled in the comments below and as always…

To Your Dating and Relationship Success!

Your Coach,

Want a FREE YEAR of dating and relationship coaching right to your mailbox? Of course you do! Who wouldn’t want to receive 52 weeks of dating and relationship coaching FOR FREE!!! Click Here NOW!!!

With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

What Does Your Kiss Mean

Kissing has been an act that has been in existence since the beginning of time. A kiss conveys many different meanings depending on the person delivering the kiss and what the intent is.

There are kisses given in greeting by way of either air kisses or kisses on the cheek. These same kinds of kisses are also delivered upon parting. Then there are the kisses between relatives such as parents and children, between siblings, and other family members. These fall into another group.

Then, there are, of course, kisses of a romantic nature. It’s these kisses that you need to think about before delivering them to someone because they will have different meanings as well as intensities.

To begin with, there’s the First Date Kiss. This one is a kiss that you give someone you’re going out with for the first time. It’s usually given at the end of the evening but it can also happen at other times during the date. A kiss granted on the first date can show that you really like this person and had a great time. It also conveys that you would love another date.

Next, there’s the Make Out Kiss. These are the kisses that get really hot and heavy while sitting on your sofa, or wherever you’ve started the make out session. These kisses don’t have to lead up to a Happy Ending, but they definitely hold more promises than the First Date Kiss. Make Out Kisses can go on for many delicious hours. These are usually more popular with women than men because the men tend to use kissing as the means to an end.

Finally, there’s the Happy Ending Kiss. This is the most serious kiss of all because of the destination it promises. Happy Ending Kisses are deep and tongue involved. They can also become almost devouring as they heat up and build to the most passionate of encounters.

There are some occasions where all three of these kiss types happen in the same day. The First Date Kiss can lead into the Make Out Kiss, which is then followed with the Happy Ending Kiss. However, this is usually not recommended as you could easily end up with the last kiss session you could have with him. If you allow yourself to get to a happy ending on the first date, you can’t expect him to want to put in the effort to date you afterward. As my mother would say, “Why buy the cow when you already got the milk for free?”

What you need to convey to your date or the person you’re going to be kissing is which of these kisses you’re giving. Men may not always read signals very well because most of them only want the kiss to end one way, but if you make up your mind which kiss you’re giving, you can be sure that you leave no doubt as to where it will lead, or won’t lead, and what it means. It’s very important that you know which kiss you’re going to choose ahead of time. In that way, you can keep from giving the wrong impression and being accused of teasing because the way you choose to give your kiss will leave no doubt as to what your intentions are.

 

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Want a FREE YEAR of dating and relationship coaching right to your mailbox? Of course you do! Who wouldn’t want to receive 52 weeks of dating and relationship coaching FOR FREE!!! Click Here NOW!!!

With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

What Are You Looking For In A ‘Perfect Partner?’

Once you know you’re ready to date and you know the type of relationship you’re looking for, it’s time to get an idea of what you’re looking for in a partner. While some might say that this limits you too much, it’s possible to both know what you’re looking for and be open to something else.

The secret is in how you put together the list of characteristics and how you think about that list once you have it. If you see every characteristic on it as absolutely necessary, you might miss out on meeting a great person who doesn’t have everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner. If, on the other hand, you see your list as a set of guidelines, having it can help you choose the relationships you do and do not want to pursue.

Necessary and Unnecessary Characteristics a.k.a. Must Haves and ‘Hell Naws’!
To get started on your lists, think back over past relationships, whether they were romantic in nature or not. Are there any characteristics that other people have that make life incredibly difficult for you? In contrast, are there any that you find absolutely necessary in anyone you’re going to be close to? Now think about some attributes and aspects you would appreciate or admire in a potential new partner.

Use these to get you started, both in making a list of things you must have/want in a partner and in making another one of things that you consider deal-breakers/hell naws. Anything that comes up in these thought exercises is probably pretty important to you, and might even make or break a future relationship.

Desirable and Undesirable Characteristics a.k.a. Things You Can Compromise On
After you have your lists of must have and ‘hell naw’ characteristics, think about other aspects of people you’ve known that you have enjoyed or that have been hard for you. These may not be quite as important as the things you just listed, but they are aspects of another person that it would be nice to have or to completely avoid all together.

You may want to make these into a separate category on your list. That way, you can separate them in your mind from the must haves and hell naws.

Picky vs. Preference
Now that you have your 3-lists in front of you, it’s up to you to decide how closely you want to stick with them. You can easily become labeled as being too picky. There is a difference between being picky and having a preference albeit a fine line. Here is what I mean…

For example:

Person A

• Refuses to date people with children, they don’t want anything to do with someone else’s child, they don’t want the drama they think they will encounter in a relationship with them and they often make all types of assumptions…not based on experience.
• They may only want to date individuals with Masters or Above.
• They are involved with a group of people who function on “Group Think;” in essence, they are following the crowd vs. making decisions for themselves.
• They have envisioned their future with a certain type of person; height, weight, skin complexion, grade of hair, type of car, number of teeth (just kidding); you see where I’m going with this.
• Person A is the type of person I consider to be picky.

Person B

• Has experienced what it’s like either having grown up in a single parent home or in having dated people with children and has decided that while they are open to it, they would prefer not to do so. They have reasons for this based on their own experiences. If asked, they can provide a reason for the preference.
• They recognize that there is a difference in how people communicate at different levels of education. While they do not require their potentials to have completed a degree (a thing that they Can Compromise On), they may prefer someone that has actually attended some classes in college. This would allow them to have first hand knowledge of the stresses of midterms, finals and can relate to that once this type of situation appears in the work environment.
• While they may have the same ideas of what they want and what they do not want, theirs are based in experience, having given themselves the opportunity to create preferences due to real life examples as well as following the desires of their own hearts vs. following the crowd.

Know that you are free to make whatever choice you want to in this area. After all, this is your relationship you’re considering, so the choices need to be suited to your own preferences…not those of people around you, or what you’ve seen on TV, or choosing the woman that all of your boys are drooling over…just to be king of the hill.

Remember, creating these three lists are your way of getting clear on what it is you TRULY WANT. Here is a link to the 3-Lists Worksheet I use with my clients and that I hand out at workshops to help get you started. Keep in mind that these lists will change based on where you are in your life at any moment so, I would suggest saving them in their blank form so that you can return to them quarterly throughout the year. And if you’re already in a relationship/marriage and you can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong, use these 3-lists to help you identify what you feel is “missing” between you and your mate and then use your findings to open the lines of communication.

When you get to be my age (oh my gosh, I sound like my mother) you will learn that a pretty face, a fast car and a Greek God or Magazine model-type body are all nice to have in the moment but are not enough to attract and maintain an authentic relationship. Beauty fades, fast cars are not made to accommodate children and their equipment, beer guts appear sooner rather than later and gravity is a cruel cruel b* with no regard for women’s feelings.

Get clear on what a day in the life of your “Purrfectly Authentic Relationship” not only looks like but also FEELS like and then open your mind and your heart to date different types of people until you find the one for you.

Dating should be FUN! It is the time to “try on those new shoes” to see which ones fit, if you like straps, lace ups or slip ons, how high you ‘prefer’ the heels to be, what color (personality) suits your life/style best, etc. Don’t just settle for the first pair of shoes that “look and/or feel good” and don’t expect every pair to be comfortable. With growth, comes pain…get used to the idea of becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.

In addition, don’t let your friends persuade you, either. Who you date and how you choose them is your choice, not anyone else’s. No one knows the depths of your desires but you and trying to get someone else to understand why you are ok with dating a person that they wouldn’t give the time of day to simply won’t work. You need to acknowledge then trust your own needs and preferences when figuring out how to attract the partner that is ‘perfectly imperfect’ for you. If you determine that you need help…I’ll be right here.

Don’t forget to get your 3-Lists worksheets, they can be used for everything from dating and relationships to determining the right career choice, company or ideal position. These lists are the Part 1 of a 3-Part client exercise. Parts 2 and 3 take what you’ve identified in these lists to a “whole-nutha” level.

Once you’ve created your 3-list, come back here and tell me how the experience was for you.

Your Dating and Relationship Coach ~ Anita Charlot

 

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Want a FREE YEAR of dating and relationship coaching right to your mailbox? Of course you do! Who wouldn’t want to receive 52 weeks of dating and relationship coaching FOR FREE!!! Click Here NOW!!!

With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

Things Women Wish They Had Known Prior To Marriage

It’s disheartening to look at the sad statistics these days when it comes to the divorce rate compared with the number of actual successful marriages. So many women jump into marriage only to lament later in those same marriages that there are so many things they wished they had known before they said I do. This is true even of the women that married after living with their partner for a significant amount of time. It seems that even knowing your husband-to-be as much as you can from living with him still isn’t enough. Things women wish they had known before walking down the aisle include:

• What being married is truly like: Too many women buy into the hype perpetuated by the media that marriage is a fairy tale with a happy ending. This can even happen to intelligent and highly intelligent women. Too late, they realize that they’ve entered into something far more serious than a fairy tale.
• Being more acquainted with themselves: Too many women get married before they really understand who they are. That’s not helpful when they suddenly have to take on the added task of understanding another person that’s a big part of their lives.
• Taking a little more time before getting married: These are the women that felt pressured into getting married before they were completely ready. They may find they’re not even in love with the person they married.
• Know their future in laws a bit better: Some women are blindsided by how much their husbands are influenced by his own parents’ view of marriage and what it should be like. That’s not always a good situation for a marriage.
• Bad behavior can only get worse: This is common among the women that always made excuses for the bad behavior of their future husbands prior to marrying them. Surprisingly, they couldn’t believe that they were unable to change this behavior once they got married.
• Need to know more about money: Many women are astounded that they are so capable at handling money when it’s forced on them. Other women realize that have made themselves dependent by not taking an active part in handling the finances jointly. Women should always know what’s going on with finances in their marriage.
• What it takes to make a marriage succeed: There’s no real answer to this one. In fact, what works for one family may not work for another one. This is something that all couples must puzzle out for themselves. It’s more a matter of trial and error. If one thing doesn’t work, then something else can be tried.

Granted, knowing the answers to all of the above won’t guarantee a successful and happy marriage. However, it’s very possible that being more familiar with them will give you an edge that others don’t have. The biggest rule when it comes to having a good marriage is to never ignore any doubts that you may have. If you don’t feel one hundred percent that you’re ready to get married, then don’t, and don’t let anyone else talk you into it before you’re ready.

 

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With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

They Cheated – Now What?

These days, cheating is becoming a highly popularized hobby for people, especially younger folks who like to “play the field.” However, those who have been cheated on know that affairs are nothing to be taken lightly. They are extremely damaging blows to most all relationships. When an affair occurs, that’s usually it.

Some people wonder, though, young or old, if it’s possible to forgive your other half for infidelities. The fact of the matter is that whether you’ve been dating for almost a year, or have been married for a decade or two, the answer remains the same. The truth is that it’s complicated.

If you can forgive your lover for cheating on you, there are some complex feelings that still remain, and some problems that can still arise as a result of it all. For instance, you may be able to say you forgive them and stay in the relationship, but the doubt will stay in your mind. The only comfort you’ll ever feel in the relationship again is with complete disclosure of all meetings, plans, conversations, and whatever else applies. No privacy can exist between the two of you. This wouldn’t be as much of a feat to accomplish if you’re already married, but if you’re not, the clinginess and watchfulness would be enough to scare off nearly anyone.

Now it’s not to say it’s impossible, but it’s unlikely that real forgiveness would be possible without the help of a coach, therapist or spiritual leader. There’s no harm in wanting to try to save your relationship/marriage, but you must know that you cannot do this alone. A few couples may even grow closer together as a result, but the chances of this sort of thing improving a relationship are extremely slim with outside assistance.

If you need some help figuring everything out, remember that there’s nothing wrong with turning to a close and wise friend for some insight into your dilemma. However, keep in mind that anyone that is closely related to you by blood or friendship, may not be the best choice. They will have a hard time being objective unless this is their profession. It’s best to work with someone that can be objective. Even people who have gone through this before may still harbor residual feelings that could “taint” their advice to you. Be mindful of this.

As a relationship is a personal matter between you and your significant other, no one else has the authority to tell you what is right or wrong. So, whatever you decide, just be sure it makes you happy. Should you decide to stay together…know that there is a long road ahead of you that both of you will need to prepare yourself to travel. Find someone that can lead you both down the path that is right for the both of you. Know that it may be a road that leads you back together OR apart.

The Unhappy Wife by Dr. Kathy Garland is a wonderful book that shares the stories of women that experienced infidelity as well as other heartbreaks in their relationships and shares their journey whether they chose to stay together or to walk away. A must read!!! In the afterword, I even share my own story with you. So if you want to get “all up in my business”, pick up your copy today!

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Want a FREE YEAR of dating and relationship coaching right to your mailbox? Of course you do! Who wouldn’t want to receive 52 weeks of dating and relationship coaching FOR FREE!!! Click Here NOW!!!

With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

Worst Date Ever

Dating can be filled with dangers that you may never have thought existed before. Not everyone is prepared to go out on a date for the first time as they may think. Because of this, embarrassing moments can occur that will either ruin the night entirely or end up giving you something to laugh about during your second date. No matter what kind of night you are having, you should always remember that you are human and bad things are just going to happen from time to time. But there are ways of getting around some of those bad things.

The first thing you are going to need to do is consider the fact that no matter how bad things are going on your date, someone has already been through it and they managed to survive. Even if your date gets up half way through and jumps out the bathroom window of the restaurant, there is no reason to panic. You aren’t the first one this has happened to. Besides, at least you found out right off the bat rather than spending a fortune and two weeks trying to impress them. See how things work out for the better at times?

What do you do if your date is completely boring and somewhat arrogant? Well, that is easy; just stick them with the check. It will probably piss them off a bit, but you get a free meal out of it and you won’t have to worry about them trying to call you again. Sometimes, having a bad first date can save you a lot of grief later on. If they run out on you, then it is probably a sign that it was never meant to be and you could end up a lot happier because of it.

Having a bad date is nothing new. Plenty of people go through them on a regular basis and turn out OK in the end. Just remember that you shouldn’t feel like it was all your fault in case something does happen that turns a great night into a nightmare. You have to give yourself a chance to get out there and find the one person that is going to laugh when things go south. These are the type of people you need to be around anyway since no one out there is perfect all the time.

You are going to say something or do something extremely stupid at some point in the night. That is a given fact and you just have to work around it and make the best out of a bad situation. If the person you are with is able to laugh things off and still have a great time, then maybe you have a chance at true happiness. Besides, just because you are having a bad night doesn’t mean that your date is having one. This could be a blessing in disguise for you and your date if everything works out for the best even after a really bad night.

 

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With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.

Simple Can Be Romantic Too!

Romance is one of those things that guys like to show off on a special occasion. Unfortunately, for most guys, the only occasion that they actually pick to show how romantic they are is Valentine’s Day, and all other men in the world are doing the exact same thing. If you are really looking to move forward in your relationship by showing your partner just how romantic you can be, then you shouldn’t be holding it off for that one day out of the year. Sometimes you just need to surprise your partner with something romantic to show them you still care.

Now, a lot of guys may think that this means they are going to have to make reservations at some fancy restaurant with candles and real table cloths. While that would be a show of romance, you don’t need to bother with all of that. Most women want you to be romantic in subtle ways, and that is a good thing because it can actually save you a lot of money. Why do you need the fancy restaurant when you have a nice backyard with a table that you can put candles on? You see how that works?

You have to think about the atmosphere of the area that you are planning to be romantic in. If the atmosphere is romantic, then you could probably walk out in clown shoes and a lamp shade on your head and they wouldn’t mind at all. If you are going to cook dinner for your partner, then why not kick on the grill and make some steaks? Don’t go for the overly man sized ones, either; keep it petite like filets mignon instead and make a salad to go with it. You already have the candles and now you have the food, too.

A little bit of soft music can go a long way into making the atmosphere romantic, but it shouldn’t be anything played off the radio. Imagine holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes as the music fades out and on comes that loud car salesman yelling about how crazy he is for selling everything at half price. That’s not so romantic when you think it through. Find some songs that she really likes or create a station just for her on Pandora, plug in your Bluetooth speaker and allow it to play in the background. And if she’s anything like me, you may want to toss in a few House Music tracks that the two of you can dance to as well.

Dancing is one of those romantic things that your partner would love for you to do from time to time and, if you are doing all of this in your backyard or on your deck, then you won’t have to worry about the fact that everyone is staring at you on the dance floor; no one but the two of you are there. You can hold each other and sway to the music and that is extremely romantic. Try to plan all of this for when she gets home from work. Even draw up a bath for her so that she can relax before she gets her moonlight dinner on the promenade. It can be the perfect evening.

What have you got to lose?

 

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Want a FREE YEAR of dating and relationship coaching right to your mailbox? Of course you do! Who wouldn’t want to receive 52 weeks of dating and relationship coaching FOR FREE!!! Stay Tuned!!!

With over 25 years of study in Relationship Patterns, Metaphysics, and Spiritual Connections, to the practical application and research, Anita has uncovered, tested and created a proven system that allowed her to attract and maintain the relationship of her dreams. She teaches this proprietary system and other courses focused on personal growth and attracting and maintaining healthy authentic relationships through The Relationship Architect Academy.

Interested in learning more about Anita M. Charlot, her customized coaching packages, bookings, professional speaking and keynotes as well as how to purchase books and products; visit her website www.anitacharlot.com.