It’s So Easy…Just Set The Intention

It was so easy. I knew that I was “dreaming” and I went with it. I was floating heading to a particular destination with no road signs. Ahead of me I saw what appeared to be a house in the side of a mountain. I tried to recall a particular memory of this place. Had I been here on one of my many vacations? Had I seen a picture of this place? What was the draw and why was I here? It was so green…so naturally beautiful. Machu Picchu maybe?

As I stared at the house front, I figured since I was dreaming, I should be able to get closer just by thinking of wanting to be closer. So I decided to ~ intend in my mind ~ to get closer. I did in fact move closer…sort of like when your camera is out of focus..I focused the lens of my minds eye, my position adjusted and I was a little closer. With each intention I moved closer and closer to my destination. The closer I intended to move…the closer I moved. I kept this up for a while feeling that I was in flight school. A spiritual class if you will that was showing me something very important.

Once I managed to intend myself at the front of the primary color-painted house, it wasn’t the door that I was interested in…but the window. A simple 4 pane window trimmed in yellow. As I hovered in front of the window I noticed that the glass was coated. I looked over to the door…which was a beautiful vibrant red…but had no desire to open it. I wanted to see in the window. As I attempted to find a crack in the coating it occurred to me that it was never the intention of my spirit to show me WHAT was behind the window but the lesson was so much more profound.

Here is what I understood the lesson to be…as I continue to have a destination in mind, there have been times along my journey that things have become out of focus. As I reconnect with the FEELING and the reasons WHY I want what I want, it helps me to remain flexible. There are so many things I have left to learn (the information behind the window), to share with others, I can’t afford to get upset by the changes that take place. I also can’t afford to allow people in my space that are not in line with where I’m headed. Doing so…allowing nay sayers will slow down my progress.

Do YOU know what you want? Have you identified that “thing” that keeps you moving forward regardless of your current life’s experience? Are you prepared to move beyond your current comfort zone? Can you disappoint another to be true to yourself?

I have, I am…and I will continue to do so. One of my favorite sayings from years ago is…”If you are not on the way, you’re in the way…so get the hell out of the way!” Do not waste time trying to convince people of your dreams…they are YOUR dreams for a reason. Keep your dream alive and as you begin having dreams ~ about your dreams ~ feel free to share them with me. I will continue to share mine with you!!!

Big Hugs!!!

Get The Most Out of Life: 5 Simple Ways To Focus on You

We’ve all probably gone through this feeling at one time or another – amidst all the hustle and bustle of a seemingly great life, you still feel like something is missing.  There’s that little part of you that feels restless, even while everything else seems to be in place. Your mate and the kids “seem happy” with the job you are doing, home affairs appear to be running smoothly, and your career may even be at its peak.  Yet something still just doesn’t feel right, and you can’t quite figure out what that is.

You may be feeling this way because you have given blood, sweat and rivers of tears for the people you love but not for the person you should be loving the most – yourself!  This does not mean that you should only be thinking about yourself from now on. However, you, as the beautiful soul that you are, personally need undivided attention – you need to feed your body, soul and spirit because together they comprise the only YOU there is!

Most women find it difficult to focus on themselves and their needs due to societal conditioning. They constantly worry too much about things falling apart if they let go of feeling responsible for everyone else.  But think of how things will go completely haywire if you run your energy into the ground by attending to the needs of others and not your own.  Pretty soon your body and spirit will have to step in and create “me time” for you. This could mean that you will fall ill, begin to forget the important things or just feel plain’ole worn out.

When deciding to make the most important decision and the extremely valuable move to commit to your own personal needs and wants; you must be ready to release the “small ideas” you have had about your life. This is not about measuring up with some parameters for comparison – your happiness is not about keeping up with the Jones’; it’s about attaining daily habits and routines that allow your spirit to sing…everyday.  Life is not an uncharted race of trying to beat out somebody else; it’s about being happy with where you are in your life at any given moment.

You are a unique individual with needs that are different from everyone else. When you begin to focus on these, you will be amazed at how much better you will feel and how all of your relationships will improve.  Attending to our own personal needs and wants helps us identify where we have been standing in our own way and allows us to grow into the spirits that we have always wanted to be. Once you set out on the course to “radical transformation,” you may not like what you find immediately, but the journey of identifying your truth then living your life from it will be the greatest reward.

Be aware that you will definitely feel “uncomfortable” in the beginning. Beginning to take time out for you when you are used to doing things for everyone else can make you feel so guilty. And if you grew up in the church…you will struggle with the fallacy of “by doing things for yourself, you are not being a good Christian”…NONSENSE!!!

Once I started to peel back the layers of my personality, removing the shackles of society, and discovered that I was not perfect…it was damn near devastating. I had such a hard time shifting my focus to me when all my life I had seemed to focus on everything and everyone else. But it has to be done; the choices and decisions you will begin to make will determine the roadmap ahead. Like me, I feel that once you really begin to think about it, you will want to take on a path that will lead you to a greater sense of self-awareness, connection/reconnection you’re your truth and the courage to live your life according to what “feels good” to you. Take a look below at these radical transformation tips that will help you focus on yourself so you can begin to enjoy your life:

1. Devote exclusive time for yourself each day. Set a definite hour for yourself alone and bask in an activity that you absolutely love.  It can be time in the tub, a walk in the park, a manicure at the salon, sitting on your patio sipping coffee and doing nothing else – whatever it is that pleases you. Do something strictly for pleasure and not to move you further along in your career or in your relationships. This time is strictly for you. Learn to play…hell, by a set of jacks or a Tonka truck and get busy. You could also use this time to reflect in your journal, dream the biggest dream you can imagine, and write down all of the things you will do and have once your dream is realized.
2. Give value to your overall needs, and be in-charge of them – the physical, spiritual, mental and emotional. Don’t make the mistake of thinking these needs are dependent on someone else or that you can only have satisfaction and happiness when somebody else does something to you or for you. You have the power within yourself to attain these needs and that is the only way you will become a whole person. Want to strengthen your relationship with self and show up to a dating situation whole…then (excuse my slang) but…get-chu some bidnez! Making the other person 100% responsible for your happiness is not attractive nor is it healthy.
3. Feed your mind, body and spirit with good and healthy things.  Find positive energy to stimulate you, positive thoughts to motivate you and positive people to be around.  Feed your body well – eat healthy, taking in lots of fruits and vegetables and get plenty of water. Do like I do, since I don’t like to eat them, I blend them and drink them all together. Feed your mind with informative material. Read lots of motivational books, listen to audiobooks and attend pleasurable events.  I’m not one to read the newspaper or watch the news. How do I stay up on current events you ask? Trust me, there are tons of others who enjoy feeding their mind and spirit with the negativity of the world…if I want to know, I’m sure they will be willing to share. If you can’t detach from the news completely, at least limit the amount of time spent watching, listening or reading the news.
4. Limit your time on the TV – if you need to, watch the “feel good” programs that let you laugh about life and stimulate your spirit. Listen to soothing music. Music has that magical ability to relax or stimulate your mind, depending on what you need at that particular moment.
5. Spend time doing something you love.  If you are able to do it daily, do so. It can be a hobby like people watching (oh wait…that’s one of mine…giggle) gardening or a creative pastime like painting, pottery or craftworks.  Whenever your creative outbursts are at their peak, translate that into action; whatever that means to you. It’s always nice to be doing something beautiful.
6. Create your own gratitude journal. Did you know that a lot of bestselling motivational books started from the authors’ personal gratitude journal? You can begin to write down even just five things you’re grateful for each day. Pretty soon, you’ll see your list growing and you’ll begin to notice how good it is to focus on the positive things in this world. I bet you’ll be writing longer reflections and short stories in no time because you’ll be writing about the good things rather than dwelling on the occasional obstacles of life.

 

There really is no better way to take good care of yourself than focusing on your needs and wants. Feeding yourself constantly allows you meet the challenge of each new day with a positive attitude and a happy heart – fully content with where you are at each present moment. And when you are ready to kick it up a notch and “Radically Transform” your life…you know where to find me. You can reach out to me directly or radically transform in the comforts of your own home. The choice of HOW you do it is yours…all I ask it that you step up to the plate and “MAKE IT HAPPEN!”

“Just For ME Time!”

Not too long ago, I browsed through my past monthly online calendars and noticed several names of very important and not so important people. There were also lots of birthday dinners, luncheon meetings, trips to the bank, pro bono coaching sessions, runs to the supermarket and mall to get stuff that others wanted/needed – but they far outnumbered the entries for the most important person in my life…ME!

As I am now undergoing a radical transformation in my life, I have had plenty of time to reflect on my past daily behavior and rearrange my days according to what feeds my spirit and moves me in the direction of my goals and dreams. I have also noticed that over the course of the past two plus years I’ve been doing tons of things based on what was needed for everyone else, including my largest client that started out as a great idea but ended up being the most difficult “class” I have taken in “the school of life.” How could I not have honored what was needed for my spirit? Easy…everything else took precedence ~ I kept stating that one day I would set aside time for me.

I’ve since decided that from this point on, I’m going to add “Anita” to my weekly schedule and set aside precious time out of my week “just for me!” If I thought all those names were important enough to placed in my calendar, then “Anita” certainly deserves to have a regular spot because I am the most important pereson in MY life.

There will always be meetings to attend, things needed by others, obligations that you can’t just “blow off” so why not carve out a little time for yourself. While it would be nice of others to remind us to do this for ourselves…it is our ultimate responsibility to take the time we need to nourish our own bodies, mind and soul. Let’s not get it twisted…of course, I can now decide to do something for myself at any given moment due to the new flexibilty – but by nature, I am the type of person who’d find something else to do that I feel is “more important.” This usually means that I have a tendency to fill in those empty time slots doing things for other people OR those things that other’s could be doing for me. By making a date with myself, I am consciously allotting valuable time for my body, mind and spirit to recharge.

Time for me means doing anything that gives me pleasure without the guilt and the pressure. It could be a whole afternoon spent watching my favorite television shows on On Demand or getting a full body massage at the spa. I could also decide to do some yoga to sweat out the toxins and burn away my stress or jump on the train and go visit a historic town and be a tourist for the day. Sitting at my favorite café with my delicious cup of coffee is also precious time spent for me; because it’s something I absolutely love doing. So the truth is, it could be anything at all – as long as it is something that will not make me think of the “I should have or could haves”.

During my ‘just for me’ moments, I tend to spend quite a bit of time soul-searching. I take a moment to look deep down inside to assess my strengths and talents and ask myself what more am I willing to give, with pleasure. I look at my interactions with others and now make my decisions on what “feels good” to me; not out of any sense of obligation or fear of the loss of anything. Once determined, I gently remove those people, obligations or energy vampires from my space. After reassessing the past couple of years of my life and where I placed my energy, I now truly understand the following…

• “Just for ME time” is the most important time you could ever schedule
• “Just for ME time” allows you the time to really connect with your truth
• “Just for ME time” if used for self-reflection, allows you to see where you are wasting energy on activities, people and obligations
• “Just for ME time” is a very healthy stress-reducer

When it’s time for my ‘just for ME” moments, I now see to it that I delegate tasks to others; those that I do not like to do as well as those that someone else can do for me. I am certain to decline invitations that would otherwise get in the way of my very important date with me. If you are not use to setting aside “just for ME” time, it would be a very healthy and simple habit to form and such a way to honor you.

Life is about finding out what brings you pleasure. Life is about loving what you do; not just doing what brings in the most money or has the best title. Life is a journey without a specific destination; it’s about enjoying the trip as well as the layovers. What has YOUR life been about? Running the rat-race doing things for others? Things that don’t feed your spirit? Things that ultimately drive you to bad health; migraines, digestive problems, ulcers, etc.? When do you think you will be ready to honor your spirit by setting aside your own “just for ME time?”

Go ahead, set a specific day and hour or two for weekly ‘just for me’ time. It will feed your body, your mind and your spirit immensely. You will love and honor yourself more when you do and the energy that you bring to all other interactions will increase as well. Raising my coffee cup to you in honor of your new “just for me time” practice…you so deserve it!

A New Year, A New Perspective and a New YOU!

Hello again! Here’s hoping you’ve started taking baby steps towards building your goals and setting your sights on your dreams for THIS year. .  Let’s get back to how the most important person in the world can ride the waves and shoot for the stars in 2010. Yes, YOU are important – you are in this world for a very unique purpose…that only YOU can fulfilll. Be sure of that, each one of us came into this world with a purpose…figuring out what that is can be so rewarding.

That’s exactly what I meant by the title ~ taking on a new perspective about YOURSELF. Realize that you are important and there’s a lot in this world in store for you. As Wayne Dyer would say…”If you change the way you look at things, the things you look AT will change.”  If you think you’re in the dumps now, decide to take on a new way of thinking. Start by realizing that nothing is going to happen if you don’t pull yourself out.  Negative thoughts beget negative actions, so stop seeing things on the minus side. The Universe does not know the difference between when you’re thinking negative and when you’re thinking positive…either way it will interpret your most dominant thoughts as requests – think negative…receive negative.   There is always something positive even in the direst situations. Compassion, empathy, and kindness arise from tribulations and not from glittering achievements – and they make us better persons. If you are not experiencing some sort of “un-comfortability” you are not growing.

Train your sight and mind to perceive the silver linings.  You’ll own one of life’s greatest talents if you are able to do this. You will light up a room with your presence because others will enjoy being around you.  Your energy LIFTS their energy without you even having to lift a finger.  Everyone likes to be with people who exude positive energy…even in the face of adversity and when you think positive you attract positive.  Never fear going through the things that seem so difficult – simply laugh and learn from them, because they always have a way of teaching us valuable lessons. When you get so worked up about the possibility of something negative…you scare yourself right out of getting started in the first place. 

Love and praise yourself and be your own cheerleader. If you think people will always be around to commend you, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t work that way. .  Everyone is busy fighting their own battles and in doing so they do not always allow them to recognize the successes of others. No need to sulk when people close to you miss out on your milestones. A confident individual does not rely on praises from others – he or she is completely satisfied with the achievements themselves and the praises come on as mere extras.  They give themselves exactly what they need every morning before leaving the house.  Whether it’s a moment of positive notes to themselves in their journals, written on their mirrors, stated out loud before they leave home, etc.  It doesn’t matter ~ they have what they need before the day even begins.  Anything extra is a bonus!!! Yes, it does feel great when people praise you, but if you feel they have to… you my friend may need a refresher course in self confidence!

The most successful people I’ve met went through a lot of bloopers and blunders, and I firmly believe that those experiences are what helped them to reach the top. . Experience is always the best teacher. It allows you to feel situations and not merely read or hear about them. Being afraid to make a mistake snuffs out your energy and excitement over new challenges. So get rid of that self-imposed notion that you have to be perfect. Fill your heart with eager anticipation instead so you can motivate yourself better and explore more areas for success.

Nothing and no one is responsible for the things that have NOT manifested in your life except YOURSELF. Stop blaming the world around you for what you think are your limitations. It’s all in your mind. If you find that difficult to do, learn from others who have done so. Be with people who have risen from their own ashes and rebuilt their lives. If you think I’m kidding…check out my personal story at www.anitacharlot.com

A positive attitude can set your life in motion beginning right now.  This can bring amazing changes to your confidence, your home life, your job and your relationships. When you start to act and feel positive, you will send out good vibrations and attract more positive situations into your life. Good feelings are contagious, so step into your greatness now and go for what you want in life! If you determine that you need a little boost or an additional cheerleader on your side check out the services page on my website.

Getting In Touch With Your Truth at the Start of Another Year

Let’s admit it – most of our actions and decisions can sometimes be affected by our emotions. Emotions are what sets us apart from all other creation and our choices are not ruled by instinct or nature alone.

We may not be aware of this, but negative thoughts and emotions most often push us into making decisions that can be detrimental to several aspects in our lives. Family, work and social relationships can be severely affected by the options we take while under certain emotional conditions.

If we can only transform negative thoughts into positive energies that can enhance our decision-making processes, we can bring on revolutionary changes into our lives. It’s a simple and basic truth that when we change the way we look at ourselves, everything around us will change. Sometimes, we get stuck in a particular way of thinking because we simply refuse to invite change into our life. A favourite line of mine goes, “Everything is yellow to the jaundiced eye”.  We fail to see the beauty of life and the exciting challenges it can bring because we refuse to view it from a different and better perspective ~ that of getting in touch with our truth.

The first thing you should do is stop living in the past.  Every second that ticks away is history that cannot be relived. There’s nothing you can do about time that has passed. But there’s always something you can do about time that is still coming your way. Begin to live in the present and see what the future possibly holds for you! There’s something you can do about what lies ahead of you!

So how can you get in touch with your truth?  It’s as simple as getting a better perspective about yourself!  Believe in your capabilities and trust that you can do more that what you think you can! It simply needs you to take reasonable risks and challenges while maintaining a healthy sense of self-preservation. Life definitely improves for anyone who is willing to explore his potentials and conquer emerging challenges that come his way.

 

Here are some key points you can focus on to gain a better perspective of yourself and life in general:

1. Take control.  Find out what upsets you and know what slows you down or leads you to negative behaviour.  Then, from this specific incidents or situations, decide how you can turn it into a positive situation. Rather than dwell on what irritates you, focus on the good that it can bring out of you. It’s simply a matter of responding rather than reacting.
2. Like and love yourself. Nothing in life is going to progress if you don’t like the person you are with all the time – Yourself. Learn how to carry positive energies with you all the time. Smile, laugh, dance, and sing your favourite tune. Project all positive emotions and get rid of negative feelings. Nobody ever wants to be around a negative person.
3. Realize and accept that you cannot control how others think or feel, so focus your efforts on improving yourself rather than complain about how other people think and act. Get on with life and don’t sweat the small stuff.  If other people get on your nerves, avoid them rather than trying to change them. Surround yourself with pleasant things, lovable people, and happy situations. You cannot control everything that happens around you. As Marianne Williamson always says, “If the train doesn’t stop at your station… it’s NOT YOUR TRAIN!”
4. Remember that YOU and YOU alone have the power to make yourself happy. It is good to do things to make other people happy, but always do them to make yourself happy, too. If you like making others happy, take pleasure in the act. Don’t do it and sulk later on. Don’t forget about yourself because you deserve to be happy. It’s not about selfishness; it’s about being true to yourself.

Get a great start for 2010! Begin by taking a new perspective of yourself. You are the most important person in your life and you definitely deserve great opportunities and challenges at the start of this new decade.

Next week, I will continue to write about how, apart from taking on a new perspective about yourself, a shift in the way you think can bring exciting new things into your life this year! Meanwhile, here’s wishing you a Prosperous New Year ahead. May you approach each day with renewed enthusiasm and eagerness in anticipation of newer challenges and possibilities.

Meanwhile, read on more uplifting materials I have written at: www.anitacharlot.com. Or you may explore exciting ways to meet exciting people this new year at www.5phasesofdating.com. Be sure to subscribe to this blog so that you can receive them when they are posted directly to your email address.

HUGS!

 

Your Passion, Your Purpose – Know What Inspires You to Live

Have you arrived at a point in your life where things are simply flowing with the tide day in and day out? Do you rise up in the morning and begin to do things you don’t need to think or plan about? Hey, I bet you can even put make up on with your eyes closed, swat at the kids in the back seat, eat McDonalds’ text AND drive at the same time, right? Then the rest of the day, you feel like a machine programmed to tackle the daily grind.  You deal with everything that needs to be done until the end of the day calls you to stop and put your feet up. It’s the same thing the following day and the day after – everything is uneventful, every day is just a run of the mill.  If you have found yourself in this situation, I hate to say it but…boredom has become your worst enemy.

Boredom restricts us from exploring our full potential and it is such a sorry state. I feel like something inside of me dies whenever I am not passionately focused on something. Having nothing to work towards for even a moment actually kills me! Nothing feels worse than being involved in activity just for the sake of being busy. It’s wasted energy and time that I can never get back.  So why would I continue doing something that does not speak to my truth of feed my spirit? I don’t…anymore that is.

You have to being to love life and discover your purpose for being alive. Boredom does just the opposite – it puts roadblocks along your path to self-discovery, so it is always important to have something worthwhile to do. Find a special purpose for being in this world – it will give you reason to get out of bed every day.

Don’t let doubt and apprehension stop you from pursuing your passion.  To me, the ultimate essence of life is turning your passion into action and living each day loving what you’re doing. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a career you love – it could be a favorite hobby, a worthy cause or an advocacy. The important thing is the transformation of your passion into something tangible,  maybe even financially lucrative as well.

So how do you discover your life purpose? Well you have to take steps and even take risks! You’ll need to open yourself up to new experiences and step out of your comfort zones to discover exciting things you can love and live for. Put some action into your aspirations and throw away the “what ifs”. The worst situation to be at a later time is to look back and regret that you didn’t take a shot at something you had wished for. It is important to conquer the barriers of apprehension and take on the challenge of exploring your untapped potentials. Who knows, the answers to your life purpose might just be there.

Explore the world around you – meet new people, go to new places and try out new and interesting things. New adventures never fail to excite us and each new experience never fails to teach you new things. You’ll discover amazing things about yourself you never thought existed – there is a lot in you that the rest of the world will be happy to know about. The important thing is to give it all a shot

So step out of the doldrums and pursue your passions. Resist the need to be perfect at everything and just give it all a try. Don’t be afraid to fail and fall; experience is always the best teacher and failure never fails to bring out the best in us. Persevere in your passion.

Passion – oh it’s such a lovely word filled with so much energy, zeal and excitement. Life can never be empty with passion in your soul. What are you waiting for? You are a wonderful, unique individual with special talents and gifts that only YOU can bring.  Stop playing small…the world is waiting for you.

 At times we get so caught up in the faulty programming of what we CAN’T do that it takes someone else to help us see what we CAN.  Stop by http://www.anitacharlot.com today and see which coaching service would be right for you.  Isn’t it time you invested in yourself for a change?

Building Self Awareness

As we approach the year’s end, let us look forward to a season of new beginnings and new hopes. Let’s start by getting in touch with our spirit. A thorough soul searching will lead us to knowing what to focus on in the coming year. It will be good to ask ourselves what we are and what we really want from life.

We’ve always been told that we can’t change what we don’t see.  Self-awareness is the process of acknowledging not only our strengths, but our weaknesses as well. Getting in touch with yourself involves listening to what your body and spirit are saying and acting on what you hear. How do you practice self-awareness?

First, you should reflect on who you are and who you’d like to be. While it’s important to notice your faults and weaknesses, it’s equally important to acknowledge your strengths. When you know yourself well, you will be more capable of bringing change into your life.

When you do real soul searching, you’ll find the many character traits that make you unique. Start off by focusing on the positive. This will embolden you to face the less favourable ones that may cause you to give up on your journey to self-discovery too early.

On the other hand, when evaluating your strengths, don’t let your ego get the best of you. If you put more emphasis on one over the other, you can’t possibly get a realistic picture of yourself. Until you deal with the truth of who you really are, you can never become the person you want to be.

Give value to what you like and dislike. Too often, people make life-altering choices without taking their personal needs into account. Before you embark on goals for your future, draw a clear line between what you really want and what you can live without.

Consult your loved ones. Talk to people who know you best and are not afraid to tell you what they really think of you. Ask them to be completely honest with you and be prepared to hear their opinions. You may not be your own best judge of character, so never argue with other people’s perceptions of who you are. Take their opinions into account so you’ll get a more realistic picture of yourself. Self-awareness is a crucial part of change. If you want to move forward, begin with real acceptance of who you really are.

Get to know who you really are and what you want from life…